This is David … the shepherd boy … standing on the corner of my desk. I found him in a bin of church stuff. It all makes sense now; how an adolescent could have killed a lion, a bear and then a trained Philistine warrior over nine feet tall. If the toymakers are right, David was no regular prepubescent. The testosterone kicked in way early for this boy. And look at that stone! I read in 1 Samuel 17 how David chose “five smooth stones” that fit in his shepherd’s pouch, but who am I to argue with a Chinese toy manufacturer. Slinging cannon balls like that is probably how David defeated Hannibal’s army of Elephants when it crossed the Alps into Israel. No … that didn’t happen either, but if you’re not going to stick to the text of Scripture, anything goes.
I looked up the toymaker online and discovered they use the same mold for Joshua, Goliath and Lachmi (that’s Goliath’s brother). I know you don’t remember Lachmi, but he’s in there (1 Chronicles 20:5). They probably picked this obscure character because there are only so many body builders mentioned in the Bible. The company also makes Samson. His figurine comes with removable hair (sad, but I’m not joking). I have a theory about Samson. I think he was about as imposing as Kenny G … a little thin guy with a wild mop of hair. If he had looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger, they wouldn’t have kept asking about the source of his strength. And if he looked like he could push down a temple, they probably wouldn’t have put him between the pillars. Samson’s story is not a story about a man bound with muscle, it’s the story of a man filled with God’s Spirit.
