How many times have you heard that? How often have you found it to be true? How often do you encounter a person who seems to genuinely … interestedly listen?My issue is that my two ears are connected to my brain and my brain is connected to my mouth. Well … I guess that’s not really the problem. After all that’s standard issue, original equipment. The issue is not using what God gave me in a disciplined and loving manner.
Most of us can process information at a much faster rate than another person can produce it. Our mind has ample resources to take in significantly more information than what they’re saying. Overall, that’s good. It allows us to process more than just facts. We hear inflections giving us hints to the speaker’s mood. Our eyes read a thousand subtle nuances in posture, stance, eye movement and facial expression; more data about mood and feelings. I’m not saying we always “hear” the total person correctly … just that when we’re truly tuned in, our brains have an amazing capacity for understanding. Listening also involves drawing conclusions, making associations and formulating questions. Again, this can be tremendously helpful if it’s done with love and discipline.
Here’s the rub, it’s hard to stay tuned in … sometimes it’s hard to love the speaker as we wish to be loved ourselves. Our brains run ahead … and run amuck. I’ve heard half of what you’ve said and already I’m dying to tell my story; formulating my transition, intro and illustrations. Even worse, you’ve expressed a fraction of your thought and I’ve decided I know exactly where you’re headed. I’m no longer truly listening; brain resources have been reallocated to prepare my rebuttal or defense. Finally, the worst infraction; my brain is so done listening, so ready to speak, that I … interrupt.
Later this week, our reading plan will take us into the book of Proverbs. If you’re willing to listen, you can learn a lot about disciplined and loving communication. Here’s a proverb that prompted these thoughts,
He who answers a matter before he hears it—this is folly and disgrace to him.
Proverbs 18:13
Your brain is faster than my mouth … but let’s make one simple rule for the communication race. You only win if we both end up in the same place. Otherwise, you have the embarrassing distinction of being first at the wrong finishing line. Here’s a simple and apropos prayer I found on the internet, “Dear Lord, please keep your arm around my shoulder … and your hand over my mouth.”
